Mood Swings

Written by Salome Akwi

Continued...

We walked along the street from church, she saw a toy that she had been describing to me for some time and wanted it.

‘Mummy! Buy for me that toy which has a girl seated on a “Pikii-Pikii”’ she pointed.

‘Not now, Little Blue! I will buy it next time,’ I responded as I led her away.

She continued asking and pointing as we made our way to the Park. She pinched and scratched my hands; she struggled to set herself free from me and wanted to walk on her own through the park. Of course I could not let her, until we entered the taxi where, she burst out crying uncontrollably. 

Some passengers asked what was wrong, and wondered if she feared the taxi or that she might be hungry, she clung to my chest and buried her head still crying loudly.

‘Ehh! does she still suckle?’ One man asked in surprise.

‘No!’ I answered in amusement.

‘Stop it Little blue! Stop it!’ I told her as I tried to make her sit upright, all in vain; she held me even tighter. I couldn’t take it anymore and with anger, I spanked her even when I knew that I shouldn’t.

‘No! leave her, don’t beat her!’ some passengers spoke out in unison. They continued murmuring as others still insisted that she was hungry; I alone knew why she acted that way. I leave the imagination to you.

‘You think she is young, she is a big girl, she deserves it!’ a lady passenger next to me with a child too, lashed out in defense of my action.

‘Little Blue, keep quiet! Here, eat your popcorn!’ her brother tried to soothe her too.

‘Let her just cry, let her cry! she will keep quiet on her own,’ a gentleman behind me advised.

So I did that. She later kept quiet and asked for popcorn which I gave her. She even accepted to sit upright when I told her to. After a short distance, the lady passenger reached her destination and I got out so she could get out with ease, of course with Little Blue. When some curious passengers realized that she was a ‘girl’ and a ‘big girl’ for that matter, one guy shook his head in amusement and smiled at her. She smiled back like nothing had happened. We just burst out in laughter because that is all it was ‘Amusing’, she took her juice and acted like a normal child again. OMG!! 

Confucius puts it in simple words.

Amidst all this drama, all that is running in my mind is how i can help my daughter out grow this phase of her life. I am doing the best i can and i have vowed that no embarrassing situation  is going to deter me from walking thing journey with my kids. With God, Nothing is Impossible!!!

Enjoy with me!!!

Signs of Child Trauma

Written by Salome Akwi

It is not easy to reveal something so personal to the public but if it will save some child out there, I will proceed.

I will call my daughter “Little Blue”, She is 4 years old and is the most affected due to the fact that she is too clingy. She doesn’t let go off my hand and sometimes she still cries when I drop her off to school. When I pick her, she is so glad and smiles from ear to ear, I see a 2 year old; it is as if she is saying “Mummy,I thought you would not come for me.”  

She was away from me just for about six months only, but it seems like years; that short time under another woman’s wing created a deep void in her. When she wants something she will not stop asking until she gets it, if it means to cry, she will cry and follow me around, start pinching me while demanding for that thing even if she shouldn’t have it. She doesn’t obey instructions at all. When I spank her, she will open her mouth so wide while clinging to me. 

I then respond by hugging her while telling her that ‘’Mummy loves you very much okay! You are a big girl now, you are not a baby okay! You are a good girl and good girls listen to their mummies okay!” she nods, as I stroke her then she keeps quiet. 

What really happened to this child? One moment she did something so strange, she cried and as she I was consoling her she instead fixed her hand swiftly into my blouse for my breast saying she wanted to suckle. “Oh my God! Really? ” This amused me yet saddened me at the same time.                                                                                                                                                 To be Continued…

PHOTO by Salome Akwi Once a Rose, always a Rose. No matter what is engulfing it, it will stand out. 

The lesson I learnt so far is that nothing will engulf my children as long as I am their Mother, it is my duty to remove what ever thorns have pricked them. It may not necessarily be a step mother, it may be a maid, friend, Aunt, Uncle or anyone you trust who is doing things to your child. PARENTS, Be very VIGILANT on your kids. Yes. Mothers you have to work But your kids need you too!

Enjoy with me!!!

One Day at a time with my traumatized children

Written by Salome Akwi

These few weeks have taught me other things I never knew about my kids; from the moment they came back to me, it was like I had never really been with them. They were totally different from the last time we were together. I pondered on how to deal with them, because their behavior was over the roof; after closely examining them, it brought me to the realization that my children after all may be traumatized following the confusion they went through with different parenting skills. It hit me so hard that I have decided to seek a different approach that will revert to sanity. All the signs are shouting out for me to do something about it.

It is said, “When two elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers.” Many times, the repercussions are seen too late, that nothing can be done. I would not want my children to view me as the aggressor as I strive to impart discipline using the wrong approach. I have embarked on getting information that will help me deal with them appropriately.

I am happy that so far it is working, at least I see a change and I am glad about it. It is a rough journey but deep inside I feel joy and unexplainable satisfaction.     

Challenges come in different forms and dealing with them sometimes requires creativity that is out of this world. Some things that may seem simple are actually the most difficult to handle but, who says they can’t be handled? That’s why in all these, I will stick to my Lord like Glue because he alone can see me through.

PHOTO by Salome Akwi An artistic presentation  always does
me good when i need o clear my head.

Enjoy with me!!

Do good to others

Written by Salome Akwi

“Do unto others what you want them to do for you” Luke 6:31  As simple as it may seem, many people don’t grasp the concept and let pride, arrogance, ignorance, greed etc over shadow the way they handle others. The life cycle is the same for everyone, even if you are born with a silver spoon in your mouth; we all face the same challenges of fear, courage, failure, grief, ambition etc.

If you are a Boss, how professionally do you treat your employees? If you have a maid at home, how humanely do you treat her? If you are Married, how affectionate are you with your spouse? If you are a Businessman/woman, how candid are you with your customers? If you are a Stepmother/Stepfather, how compassionate are you with another Woman’s/Man’s child?

In all these scenarios, if you are ruthless, uncompromising, voracious, demining to your subordinates, then remember that you may find yourself at one point in your life passing through the hands of those very people you mistreated or under looked. If you show kindness, then you will definitely get it where ever you go and you will never get stranded in your life.

Before you verbally or physically abuse someone, cheat your business partner/customers undermine your employees, grab someone else’s land/property/spouse/child/business etc, always remember that someone else will do it to you double. Same as when you treat others right, you will also get double blessings. So, where do you fit?

PHOTO by Salome Akwi. Just as attractive as this flower looks, is the same way
people should be attracted to you; no wonder it caught my eye.

It does not require you to be a rocket scientist  to treat people well but it is a personal decision to adopt to treating someone else right. Above all, it is fulfilling.

Enjoy with me!!!

Forget about the closed doors

Written by Salome Akwi

Every day in our lives, doors are shut behind us. Many times we waste time trying to reopen them not knowing that nothing will ever change and that you may be plunging yourself deeper in to the ravaging sea.

Many of us spend time crying over the past and pondering on what would have been; no matter how marvelous you imagine things would be, they will never change anything in your life. Whatever door was shut in your life e.g. Job, Friend, business deal, marriage etc. It was never meant for you.

When you start focusing on what is in front of you, and forget those things that you thought made your world, you will realize sooner that they were instead retarding your progress.  You start to see doors opening and discover that you have untapped potential just waiting to be utilized. Quickly, you will see your world transformed to greater heights that you wouldn’t have reached while you were in your past life.

It is said, “Every dark cloud has a silver lining”. That is true, all you have to do is find your silver lining and when you do, all the darkness will fade away instantly.

PHOTO by Salome Akwi It is until you observe keenly that you see a water duck swimming
in a distance enjoying itself.

So where do you see yourself in all these? Just remember that God has a better plan for you and that he promised to make your life BRAND NEW! so go and embrace it now!

Enjoy with me!!!

Let it be!

Written by Salome Akwi

When I was younger, I used to be bothered by simple little things which I could do nothing about by the end of the day like a rainy morning, traffic jam, people’s obnoxiousness etc. But now life has taught me many things among which deals with that issue; I have learnt to ignore those voices that add no value to me. I stopped complaining about things that nature has purposed even when they squeeze the air out of me. I have learnt to Let it be!

So what, if somebody tells you he/she doesn’t need your friendship anymore? It is their loss because they didn’t see the Treasure in you. So what, if your boss doesn’t appreciate your every effort you put in their company? You can have your own company. So what, if your business fails? You can start another one. So what, if you are rejected by your spouse and thrown out like a dog? You can get another better spouse. So what, if you have lost everything? Forget about them, you will get better things.   

YOU still have LIFE, and that is the most Important thing. Your next move can bury all that pain if you choose to let it be and move on without looking back. Fresh Starts are always the best because you think clearly; know that you are a person of Worth and you are in-charge of your own destiny. 

Above all, always remember that there is a God who strengthens you…all you have to do is put your Trust in him. 

PHOTO by Salome Akwi Even in maturity, there is another bud sprouting within
this flower, more vibrant and stretching out to the sunlight.

That is the definition of life; even in your situation there is always a new opportunity that you need to explore, tell yourself that you can do it, that you can rise above the heights! Let God be your Guide!

Enjoy with me!!

Act Like a Rose

Written by Salome Akwi

A Rose is a woody perennial flowering plant of the genus Rosa; The name Rose comes from French, itself from Latin Rosa. There are over a hundred species and thousands of cultivars and form a group of plants that can be erect shrubs, climbing or trailing with stems that are often armed with sharp Pricklesthat many of us refer to as “thorns” Flowers vary in size and shape and are usually large and showy, in colours ranging from white through yellows and reds.

I have always wondered why a Rose, beautiful as it is has prickles all around the stem and yet the Rose shoots out without any scratch. Nature has a way of preserving every species on this earth by giving each a unique defensive mechanism. In this case, Prickles in Roses are Nature’s way of protecting themselves against plant-eating animals since the flowers produced by rose flowers are extremely aromatic and naturally attract herbivores. Also, prickles protect them from being trampled over.  

They also allow the Rose to "hook onto" other plants for support especially for the climbing rose that goes up into a shrub or tree; Note that there is no way it could do that without the “thorns.”

When I look around me, I see prickles and actual thorns all in different forms; Daily life challenges like failed businesses, failed friendships, failed marriages, rejection, luck of money, betrayal, sickness, joblessness, childlessness, loss of loved ones, despair etc. These challenges each varying from individual to individual and however horrific they are, exist in order to Lift You up not to pull you down.   

Let not these challenges drown your dreams but use them to excel in your life because bad situations always come purposely to Push you to another level. Also keep in mind that nothing in life can be Accomplished without Hard work, Perseverance, Endurance and Pain. To sum up the saying, “NO PAIN, NO GAIN”  

PHOTO by Salome Akwi No matter the odds surrounding it, a Rose always stands out,
this batch caught my attention even in the darkness.

If you spend all your time talking about your challenges, that is all you will ever do But instead, talk about how you are going to overcome them and be the only ray of light in the dark. Act like a Rose.

Enjoy with me!!!