There I was, choked by negative voices whispering and imposing their opinions on me as if I had none of my own. The more I tried to echo my dreams and ambitions, the weirder they sounded to their ears yet to me, they were as real as myself.
I asked myself over and over
again at what point I reached this scenario. Where did I lose it? I was caught up in a web of disappointment,
heartbreak, lose, mistrust; a past that never made me see what I had envision
myself to be and too afraid to set myself free from it. Was it that I was
afraid or that the negative words had eaten into my inner being and done
serious damage on my mental abilities?
Subconsciously, they robbed me
off my beautiful ideas and creative moments of my youth oblivious of the damage
they were creating. How could I believe that I wasn’t good enough, that my
dreams were too big for me, that I didn’t deserve the best? Yes, it is possible especially when the ones
telling me these things are the people I LOVE and TRUST.
WHO AM I? Where did the Artist in
me go? What happened to the creative “Sally” who inspired her peers with her self-designed
hairstyles, earrings, apparels and confidence? It has been a long period of
rediscovering me and switching back to reality. I shut my mind and refused
to let in any foreign ideas unless they added value to mine. I unearthed the
unfinished projects I had hidden away and resumed pursuing them and see, where
it has brought me.
My smile is slowing returning;
after seeing the small strides I have so far taken since the mindset change. It
was a choice I made not to be defined by other people’s opinions and stick to
my goals no matter what. It comes with a cost, sometimes I feel alone in this journey,
but I remind myself that the end of it is what is important, and that GOD is my
ever-present help. Many left me and, I am glad they did. I know what my PURPOSE is, and nothing will stop me
from pursuing it.
The results of my quest to “FINDING
MYSELF” are glaring and one of them is being among the 3 Playwrights selected by
TEBERE ARTS FOUNDATION in this year’s
“MID-CAREER AND ESTABLISHED PLAYWRIGHTS'
RESIDENCY”
What does this mean? That my Play
will be among those read during the KAMPALA
INTERNATIONAL THEATRE FESTIVAL (KITF) in November.
Honestly, I never saw myself here.
The writer in me never vanished, it was always there. I give the Glory and
Honour back to GOD!
No comments:
Post a Comment